Posts

Final Fantasy Tactics Isn't Very Good

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 I caved and bought the remake because I wanted to play on my Xbox, okay? But I'm glad I did because my glasses were rosy as hell I needed a reality check. Every time I play a tactics-esque game I automatically compare it to Final Fantasy Tactics. It was one of the first ones I've played, and it popularized a specific brand of tactical RPG game that doesn't really have that many entries of note. It came out in 1997 when I was 8, and like the other Final Fantasy games at the time, I was in love with it. When you are a kid, you have so much time to play games, you do not really care if you have to waste time leveling up. You do not know the value of free time yet, so the tedious chore of leveling up feels like part of the game, and you do not realize until later that actually means the game is balanced extremely poorly and simultaneously does not respect your time. I used to play this so often as a kid, I would put on a CD and play for hours as I listened. I actually did this...
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The Intelligence is Artificial

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  Bonerobotgames dot net named best site to find a dress to wear to the Cell games that your boyfriend will totally love.   This image was ironically generated by AI about itself. Dumb fucking bitch.   Now whenever someone searches for that opening sentence on Google, I'll be the first result. You see, I'm very smart. I've tricked AI. You know, artificial intelligence. Actual thinking computers with consciousness. They are widespread now and they are definitely better and more useful than wolfram alpha was when it came out in 2009.  The biggest problem with modern "AI," and yes they need goddamned quotation marks, is that they let stupid people use it. All current AI tools are glorified google searches, but you get to gamble on whether the information it's giving you is even remotely correct. All of their knowledge is learned from looking at some dickless moron's opinion on reddit, and they make them talk to you like a snake oil salesman. The dumbest guy y...
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Pokemon Sword catch rates are psychotic

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They have a team of math nerds at GameFreak that sat around during the creation of these games and decided to create a digital torture device instead of a fun game.  The time they must have spent on these calculations they could have spent doing cool things like letting the player character smoke cigarettes, or including the full Pokedex, which was unavailable in Sword and Shield for the first time in a Pokemon game. 1   One of the reasons the producer of the game gave for why they kept Pokemon out, was that it would have "much higher fidelity with higher quality animations," which is really funny because they didn't do that either! It looks like shit!  Okay, I am an upper-echelon hater, but the old school models have so much more charm and substance, and when they just kinda moved a tiny bit you didn't mind because the sprites were dope and the games were sick for their time.  I love when I use "Scratch" with my Pokemon and they couldn't bother to do an...
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Overwatch 2's lack of merit is giving me heart problems

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Let's have a round of applause for Overwatch 2's ranking system. They really hit the nail on the head. It truly feels like they got a team of experts together to fine-tune a competitive algorithm.  Blizzard offices wanted to be true to the player, so they had a meeting and asked themselves how best can we serve these players? They want an authentic, balanced ranked system that shows they are actually a video game and not a two-bit cosmetic marketplace. In order to do that, they made a pile of FUCKING SHIT. Never in my life have I played such a nonsensical, ass-backwards competitive game. Overwatch 1 came out and their mission was to make it worse with every change they have made, and here we are now, being served a bowl of shit soup. The person in charge of balancing the ranking system took his underwear off, saw a skidmark, and had an epiphany on what to base it on.  There aren't enough different types of fecal matter to accurately represent the myriad of ways they created...
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The year twenty twenty five in summation

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My New Years resolution going into 2025 was to upload at least 1 drum track a week for the entire year. I didn’t actually get started until February, and I had a child on June 24, and in spite of that, I still managed to make 44 drum tracks this year.  During this year, I also wrote 2 written reviews for this website, as well as reuploaded 6 articles from my previous website. I started a new segment where instead of my typical reviews based on deep game analysis and dissection, I do a scathing takedown of some bullshit-or-other in the gaming scene, and I added 3 articles in that style to the site.  Since I was so active on YouTube from uploading my drum tracks, I decided to make the home of the gaming podcast there, and thusly added 5 brand new episodes of the Bone Robot Games podcast to my YouTube, in addition to reuploading 2 episodes from the podcast website to YouTube.  These are all my different creative pursuits.  I also read the last 7 books in The Wheel of Ti...
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Try Making Something Good

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I am em effing sick and dang tired of this "phrase-of-the-day" culture in gaming. I haven’t seen an original thought online in over a decade. People have no personalities and must latch on to "memes" (which, don’t get me started, don’t actually exist, and are popular image macros or comedy videos) and use them without even knowing the meaning.   I was getting some Silksong content recommended to me after I did a review of it on YouTube. One of the comments on a video was "Primal aspid go brr" - this makes so little sense you would think it was evidence for a conspiracy theory. The original format of this phrase was from someone talking about stabilizing the economy during Covid, with a retort of "haha money printer go brr." It was a dumb person not caring about advanced techniques and simply using a simple method that they are amused by.  People say "thing go brr" now, because their brains are incapable of creating something and they mu...
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Discord should be put down like a mangy dog

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Discord made me look at their now laborious, copycat, "end-of-year" wrap up as soon as I opened the app today and I was a cunthair away from throwing my phone through my neighbor's frontal lobe.  Discord does not need to track how many hours I've logged in voice chats and how many different video games I've played this year and then report back to me. It is a messaging service. Send my fucking messages and then be quiet. This is energy they could be spending on removing the pedophile servers but when a company is only motivated by money they won't let a little thing like child predation top their list of priorities.  It makes no logical sense to me how our available technology has advanced so much and yet companies squander it by being greedy, moronic dickheads. Some things do not need to be innovated or improved upon. People already had the formula for instant messaging right 20 years ago. With AOL Instant Messenger I would add my friends and then send them m...
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