Discord made me look at their now laborious, copycat, "end-of-year" wrap up as soon as I opened the app today and I was a cunthair away from throwing my phone through my neighbor's frontal lobe.
Discord does not need to track how many hours I've logged in voice chats and how many different video games I've played this year and then report back to me. It is a messaging service. Send my fucking messages and then be quiet. This is energy they could be spending on removing the pedophile servers but when a company is only motivated by money they won't let a little thing like child predation top their list of priorities.
It makes no logical sense to me how our available technology has advanced so much and yet companies squander it by being greedy, moronic dickheads. Some things do not need to be innovated or improved upon. People already had the formula for instant messaging right 20 years ago. With AOL Instant Messenger I would add my friends and then send them messages. That's the pinnacle of a messaging program. We do not need anything else. Discord is begging for your money for their monthly payment service which will give you a fun little animated border around your username! Is this a feature for people whose brains stopped developing when they were toddlers? I cannot stress this enough: you already made it to the top. Everyone uses your service and we want to text and voice call each other. You can stop now, you’ve done it.
Discord has an acceptable instant messaging client, a voice chat system that mostly works, and then a ton of bullshit nobody cares about, with the added bonus of having to host servers for a furry community to share porn with each other. Companies now are run by guys who got into an Ivy League school because their parents are alumni, and who graduated thanks to their adderall addiction. They use ChatGPT to figure out how to respond to a “Hey, what’s up?” text, and their mood at the office meeting is dictated by if their crypto earnings went up that morning. The blame isn’t solely on the dogshit company who can’t run a messaging service - an idea that they have literally only stolen from others. The rest of the blame falls to the users, you shitty assholes.
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| Discord pretending to be an original company |
Users have made Discord a difficult to navigate series of walled communities separate from the rest of the internet. Tons of faux-wiki info databases are locked behind separate channels in private servers. We are regressing as an online presence collectively, and it’s everyone’s fault but mine. I would rather deep fry my balls in front of a live audience than join a Discord server in order to get information on a video game. They do it under the guise of “community,” but here’s the thing: you’re a loser and I don’t like you. You have always been a loser and now you have to moderate the Resident Evil 2 speedrunning Discord server so you can pretend all the other annoying white people with Japanese usernames are your close friends. I want to know where to find this rare chest armor, I do not want to interact with you. It would be like if you wanted to check the Encyclopedia out at the library and a guy with an all-over-print Ahegao hoodie made you read it in the room where he hosts anime club with the rest of the reprobates. Being a regular nerd is like being an Iraqi in Abu Ghraib in 2004.
AOL Instant Messenger had this shit down pat back in 2001. IRC had group channels and forums, private messaging, data transfer and file sharing 25 years ago. Nothing that Discord offers is better than what they offered back then, and every new feature they added has been diarrhea soup. The only way you could argue Discord is “better” than older programs is because it uses modern technology that wasn’t available then, which is not something it created, but instead uses to its advantage. Basically only faster average internet speeds and more users with access to the internet. If AIM was around today it would beat the pants off of Discord. Discord is piggybacking off of current trends, not adding a single feature that users may actually want, while platforming sex pests. In the era where companies offer free services with an option to pay, they are a slave to the users - not in providing valuable service, but in having as many users as possible. They can’t afford, literally or figuratively, to lose out on users, so they can’t be resolute with anyone, and are thus complicit in the crimes being committed on their service. Not taking a hard stance on this is the coward's way. Fuck you Discord, burn in hell.
We do not need to have a wide array of custom emotes and emojis, or the ability to react to a message with an emoji, or themes, or customization options. You could straight up use HTML in your AIM away message service. I basically had a damn website in mine. All of that other stuff is dumb garbage you have been tricked into using by Facebook - a bona fide, card-carrying evil entity. True gamers would not want these features. In this scenario, I am Link, and the big evil corporations like Discord are Ganondorf, and that is why I ran a sword through the CEO, your honor.
I am being forced to use Discord against my will because everybody uses it. Well not anymore. I am going to be the guy that starts saying “I don’t have Discord, can we use this alternative without an app?” And all of my friends will stop talking to me. I can’t wait.
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